How Do I Know If I Need Anxiety Therapy? 10 Signs it May Be Time
"Is my anxiety bad enough to actually need therapy?"
Anxiety is a normal part of the human experience, but chronic anxiety starts to become a problem when it interferes with our daily lives, relationships, work, or impacts our body functioning, like sleeping, eating, and relaxation.
You don't have to wait until anxiety becomes so debilitating that it starts to erode these areas of your life. You also don't have to wait until anxiety becomes overwhelming and paralyzing to seek support. My hope for you is that you get into therapy well before that point, but if you’re unsure right now, that's okay too. The important thing is that you're being inquisitive, which will lead you to the right place. Anxiety is absolutely treatable, and getting you back to the life you want to live is the most important thing.
Stress versus Anxiety…
Anxiety is like stress 2.0.
Anxiety is characterized by worried thoughts, physiological changes like a heart beating fast and sweating, and consistent feelings of tension.
Stress is actually a good thing because it creates the pressure needed to accomplish difficult tasks. However, stress and short-term anxiety are generally related to a specific stressor like a major life change, moving, death, divorce, starting a new job, or ending a relationship. All of these things are going to bring on stress. Absolutely. And that deadline you have to meet at work—you need stress to get you over the hump and do it!
When does anxiety become a problem?
Three things help me figure out how troublesome anxiety is:
How often are you experiencing anxiety?
How intense is your anxiety?
How much is your anxiety interfering with your regular life?
Let's break those down.
First, how often are you experiencing anxiety? Do you have anxiety more days than not? Are most of your thoughts centering or circling back to anxious topics? The worry is pervasive, and you have a difficult time controlling it. It might keep you up at night, keep you distracted, and leave you unable to feel present with yourself and connected to other people.
The level of intensity is also significant. Is it so intense that most of the time you're too distracted to focus? Is it causing somatic symptoms like tension headaches, neck aches, GI issues, difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep? Are you having panic attacks? Do you feel debilitated?
And finally, how much is it interfering with your life? Are you not sleeping? Is it interfering with your appetite, maybe eating too little or eating too much? Are you experiencing physical symptoms that leave you in chronic discomfort? Maybe you're not able to engage in activities that please you. Is it leaving you feeling disconnected and lonely? Are you not able to be present at work or school because distracted thoughts keep you looping, and you feel really far from being an active participant in your life?
Maybe you had to take some time off work that you weren't expecting because your functioning is just not at the level that you want it to be. Is it interfering with your parenting? You're feeling irritated because you're overwhelmed, overstimulated, and your nervous system is in overdrive.
Anxiety can affect our emotional self, our physical self, the way that we think, and the behaviors we engage in.
If anxiety is causing you impairment in any of these areas, I'd say it's time to get some support.
10 signs you may benefit from anxiety therapy
1. You can't stop overthinking
You worry, and you can't control the worry. You might be ruminating on the past or catastrophizing about the future. Swirling thoughts create a myriad of what-if scenarios that usually don't end well.
You feel like you need to over-plan and control for so many different factors. Maybe you're replaying conversations in your head before you go to sleep, anticipating problems that aren't even there, analyzing your decisions, and feeling insecure about the way you handle things. Your thinking never ends, and you feel
exhausted.
2. You're avoiding
This could look like avoiding responsibilities. Maybe you're calling in sick to work or lagging on making that phone call to set up the medical appointment that you know you need. It could also look like avoiding things that you want to do, like not going to a social event or not having that difficult conversation with your partner that you really want to have.
It could also be avoiding fun things like vacation or other experiences because there are a lot of variables that cant be controlled for.
Anxiety breeds avoidance.
If you notice anxiety is consistently making your world smaller, that's an important sign to pay attention to.
3. Your sleep is negatively impacted
You may have difficulty falling asleep, tossing and turning at night, generally restless, or waking up frequently. You may wake up feeling like you did not get restful sleep. Some folks even have nightmares that wake them up in a panic.
The constant worrying is wreaking havoc on your sleep pattern, which is getting worse and worse, and to top it off, your body is feeling like it is stuck in overdrive and you cannot relax.
And when you're not sleeping well, anxiety can become even harder to manage the next day. A vicious cycle.
4. You need reassurance from others
You're riddled with self-doubt and insecurity, looking for sources of comfort and reassurance outside of yourself. This could look like asking loved ones to help you make decisions, even small ones feel really hard.
There could be a consistent need to check or research compulsively. For some folks, this looks like Googling everything. A small reassurance may feel comforting in the moment, but the security quickly fades, and the anxiety cycle is stronger each time.
5. You have physical symptoms
The anxiety is showing up in your body because your nervous system is not able to chill out. Some common symptoms of anxiety are muscle tension, a racing heart, feeling like you're having heart palpitations, GI tract issues (stomach discomfort, nausea, diarrhea or constipation), headaches, overall restlessness, and feeling absolutely exhausted.
Fatigue is real, which makes total sense. The body is working so hard because it feels like there's a constant threat.
A note: If you're experiencing new, severe, or unexplained physical symptoms, it's important to share this with your medical provider.
6. Anxiety is impacting your relationships
Anxiety manifests itself in so many different ways depending on the person, but it could look like people-pleasing, saying yes when you really want to say no, poor boundaries with others, fear and avoidance of conflict, socially withdrawing, feeling consistently irritable, or patterns of seeking reassurance that wear down the relationship.
Or constantly worrying what other people are thinking. The self-questioning impacts the way you carry yourself in the world, and maybe that is what's coming out right now: stuck in fear and questioning and insecurity.
Do you recognize yourself in these patterns?
7. You're having a hard time staying focused and making decisions
It may be hard to read, retain focus, and you're easily distracted. In your mind, thoughts are scattered, going in a million different directions, lots of future-based scenarios that take you away from the present.
Sometimes this looks like wandering off in your mind when someone's right in front of you talking about something else. Or you're trying to complete a task at work, and you just can't focus.
When it comes to making decisions, things are taking so much of your brain capacity right now that you feel fatigued. Even small decisions feel frantic and confusing. You're fumbling around.
8. Things that you used to do to take care of yourself are not working right now
You may have a list of things that you do regularly to keep yourself grounded and manage your mental and physical health, but for some reason, it is just not enough.
You're doing yoga, you're running, you're journaling, you're using your support system, you're going to church, you're trying to tell yourself not to worry, but the relief is not lasting.
You need to learn new and sustainable coping strategies and address the root causes. This is where therapy comes in. You're stuck in a holding pattern, and you need someone to support you in moving out of that space.
A therapist can help teach you new coping strategies to regulate your nervous system, cultivate authenticity in all you're doing, and heal some of the old wounds that are perpetuating these anxiety patterns.
The goal isn't just to manage anxiety better. It's to help you feel more like yourself again.
9. Anxiety is impacting your daily life
This could be a job, school, parenting, caretaking, socializing, or even enjoying things that you used to find pleasurable.
For some folks, it's even difficult to get out of bed in the morning. And this is the big one here because one of the most significant indicators a therapist will look at is how much the anxiety is truly interfering with your life.
Are you no longer operating at previous capacities?
That's a problem, not a permanent problem, but something that needs to be looked at seriously. We want to get you back to your previous levels of functioning, and I hope that things are even better than they were before.
10. You're exhausted from trying to manage this on your own
You might still be technically functioning, right? You're getting up, you're doing your job, you're parenting your kids, but you are absolutely afraid and frazzled on the inside.
You're so exhausted. You're in this constant state of tension, and that is truly overwhelming. You're carrying so much on your own right now just to make it through each day, and you're tired.
I hope that you're able to reach out before you arrive at a breaking point. We want to prevent that. Let's get ahead of it before things get worse, and consequences become more severe.
What if I can still function?
That's a fair question. A lot of folks can appear put together and contained and "successful" on the exterior while inside they're having significant internal anxiety.
These folks might do their job, maintain friendships, meet basic responsibilities, and take care of their family, but inside they're feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, feeling like they're just always on with no reprieve.
So the question here becomes not whether or not you can still operate, but how much energy is it taking you to just show up and live your life?
What is the anxiety costing you?
Are you suffering internally? It does not have to be that way.
You don't need to wait until things get worse or until the wheels fall off. Anxiety doesn't have to become a full-blown crisis before you reach out for support.
When should you reach out for anxiety therapy?
Therapy is definitely worth considering if your anxiety is pervasive, you're avoiding things that you want or need to do, your sleep is impacted, you can't control your worrying, your relationships are struggling (especially your relationship with yourself), and you're having physical symptoms.
Your coping strategies are not working well, and you're just exhausted from living like this.
All those things would point to: yeah, it's time.
If you're noticing that anxiety is getting in the way of the life you want to live, it may be worth reaching out to a therapist. My hope for you is that you don't have to navigate it alone.
Anxiety therapy in San Diego
If this article has led you to a place where you're like, "Yep, this is me. Okay, fair. I need therapy," your next step is choosing a therapist.
If you're ready to make the next move, I wrote an educational article on choosing the right anxiety therapist for you. I'll link that here.
